New Town, New Friends: A Reality.

Moving abroad was the first time I heard the advice of having friends for different occasions. That had never been my reality. All my friends were very involved in whatever celebration or event I was attending and vice versa.

I realized that was a thing: the school friend, the job friend, the party friend, the family friend, the church friend, and the birthday friend, etc. I struggled with this reality, and in all honesty, it did sting, especially in situations when you think you have a connection with someone, only to realize you have overestimated the sort of friendship.

The transition was tough. I was used to deep, all-encompassing friendships where boundaries between different aspects of life were blurred. Suddenly, I was faced with a social landscape where people compartmentalized their relationships. It felt disheartening at times, as I often questioned the authenticity of these connections. But over time, I learned to navigate and appreciate this new way of forming friendships.

My approach to adapting was to assign the proper title to people. Not everyone is your “friend”; some are friends of friends, acquaintances, or colleagues.

Secondly, I learned to accept and appreciate the value of different types of these relationships. Each person brought something unique to my life, whether it was intellectual stimulation, professional advice, or just someone to enjoy a night out with. Accepting that not every friendship needed to be all-encompassing was helpful.

Another key was setting realistic expectations. I had to remind myself that building deep, lasting friendships takes time. It was important not to rush the process or put too much pressure on new acquaintances. By allowing relationships to develop naturally, I found that genuine connections began to form.

Eventually, I found my peace.

It's normal to feel out of place and to struggle with forming new connections. But by embracing the journey, staying open minded , and setting realistic expectations you too will find your peace.